Things I learned in Kindergarden

I don't remember much about my own time in Kindergarten.  We lived in Petersburg, VA, and my sister and I attended a church kindergarten.  I remember show and tell, weekly readers, and riding tricycles on the black top. 


Sarah's stocking creation

This year my youngest child, Sarah, started kindergarten.  At the beginning of the year, the teacher sent an email via signupgenius.com asking for Moms to volunteer to help with "centers".  Being the Accidental Stay At Home Mom that I am, I thought, sure! I'll help! Why not?  I logged on and reviewed the time slots (this was in August, mind you.)  Two of the other moms had signed up for every single time slot from August through the end of November.  Seriously? While I was glad to see that Sarah's class had some very interested Moms, I was ticked off that I would have to wait until December to help out in her class.  I mean, surely I would have another job by then, right?  But here we are, December 7th, and I am not working. So off I went to kindergarten. 

I arrived a few minutes early and the class was having their math lesson using pennies and nickles. 
Teacher: Class, if I want to buy a candy bar that is 10 cents, what coins would I use to pay for it?
student #1: Ten pennies!
student #2: Ten dollars!
student #3: A credit card!
For the record, student #3 was not my child.   However, I am surprised that Sarah didn't say that.  During the course of the lesson, one kid fell out of his chair, one kid picked a scab on his elbow and started bleeding, and one kid started telling me about how his family read a story about St. Nick last night.  Controlled chaos.
Soon it was time for me to help with "centers", whatever that is.  The teacher explained to me that for my center,  I would be helping the children make construction paper stockings.   The kids would sew these with yarn, glue cotton on the top, and write their initials with glue and glitter.  Um, hello, this is a CRAFT.  I do not like crafts.  I am not good at crafts. I avoid crafts at all costs.  Now I have to help 15 five year olds complete this craft. I showed the kids the finished example, then tried to explain how to push the yarn in and out of the pre punched holes.  A few kids could do this without any help.  A few kids just didn't get it at all.  One sweet little girl started to cry when she couldn't get the yarn through the hole.  I was kinda surprised at how many different skill levels were in just this one class. Soon enough, my hour was over, and I was covered in glitter.  I needed a nap.  Or a glass of wine.  Maybe both.  I'm not sure how these other moms do this.  I certainly confirmed that I would not be a good kindergarten teacher.  But for one day, it wasn't so bad at all.