Million Dollar Baby

I was looking for a movie to rent for our plane ride to Florida, and came across  Million Dollar Baby on iTunes.  Although this film won best picture in 2004, I never saw it, and I didn't know how it ended (or if I did, I forgot a long time ago).  With my recent interest in 9Round boxing classes, I thought it might be interesting to watch a girl boxer movie. 

I would love to have shoulder muscles like this!

 

It's a great movie with a gut wrenching ending.  Maggie, the main character played by Hillary Swank, comes from a trailer park in Missouri.  She saves every penny that she makes as a waitress on boxing gloves and on her training.  When she starts working with trainer Frankie, played by Clint Eastwood, she can't even work the speed bag (maybe there's hope for me yet). Frankie tells her several times, "I don't train girls."  She pesters him enough until he agrees to train her. With hard work and determination she starts winning fights.  Frankie and Maggie travel around Europe winning more and more.  She even works her way to the $1 million dollar title fight in Vegas. 

 

Unfortunately in the end Maggie is robbed of everything; however she doesn't see it that way. In her mind, she did everything that she had set out to do.  For her, almost winning it all was good enough.

 



APPLE JUICE!

Last week we went down to Fort Lauderdale, Florida for spring break with another family.  It was a great week of swimming in the pool, the ocean, and the ocean channel behind our rental house.  We had pretty good weather, and a great view behind the house

our view for the week!

Our kids got along great, even though they had never met before.  Luckily, the kids were close in age.  My girls are 7 and 9 years old, and the two other girls are 8 and 4.  The 4 year old, who I'll call C, was the kind of little girl that makes a mom like me want to have another little girl.  She's a tiny little thing, who talks a mile a minute. I discovered her sentences were very well thought out and complex, but sometimes it was hard to understand what she was saying.  When we first met her at the airport, we couldn't understand a word she said.  But by the end of the week, my girls could understand every word perfectly.

C would talk to me and try to tell me things, but most of the time I couldn't understand what she was saying.  I would ask her Mom for a translation. Sometimes even her Mom would just shrug her shoulders and admit that she had no idea what C was saying.  I found that when C really wanted you to know something, her words became quite clear.  The child loves apple juice and would call out for it several times a day. "APPLE JUICE!" C would exclaim, to anyone who was listening.   Another of her favorites was, "PASTA!"  But my favorite was one afternoon when all the kids had to get out of the pool, she was looking at her Mother and said, "I'M NOT HAPPY!" Everyone understood that C was upset, no questions asked.  This little girl at age 4 knows exactly what she wants, and has no problems telling you about it.  I hope she never loses her assertiveness! Sometimes don't we all just need to say what we want, very plainly, so that everyone understands?

Are your kids vaccinated?

Vaccinations.  Just the mention of the word sends people into debates.  Do they cause Autism? Do they actually prevent disease?  Are they harming our children? As the mother of 3 children, let me just say up front that my kids are vaccinated.  This week I saw this blog post on Facebook, in favor of vaccinations.  I also saw a response against vaccinations.  You can click on links to read both sides. 

Here in North Carolina, if your children aren't vaccinated, they can not attend public schools. There is no opt out.   My middle daughter, Olivia, attended Kindergarten and part of 1st grade in Huntersville, NC. Then we moved to Omaha, NE, where she attended 1st grade, 2nd grade, and part of 3rd grade.  With each school entry we presented her shot record.  Last month we moved from Omaha back to Huntersville, NC.  I got a call from the school nurse, who told me that Olivia's shot record was not up to date.  The nurse stated that she needed an additional dose of Hep B vaccine, or she would be kicked out of school.   What? She has attended 2 different schools and no one has mentioned this before now.

Hep B is given to infants.  Apparently when Olivia was an infant, the doctor's office administered her Hep B shot one month too early.  Because it was administered one month too early, apparently she doesn't have immunity.  My daughter has had 27 immunizations in her lifetime. Now I have to subject her to another one?  This just seems crazy and unfair.  I asked the nurse if we could just opt out of this vaccine.  The answer was no, you can't. If she doesn't get this extra Hep B shot, she will not be able to attend school. I know my daughter, and she will freak out when she has to get this shot.  At five feet tall and 100 pounds, I'm sure that it will take several grown ups to hold her still. 

Meanwhile, people in California can just opt out of every vaccine for their child?  Short of moving west of homeschooling my child, I have no choice, and that sucks.

School picture day

As a working mom, I admit that sometimes I would forget about school picture day.  That's why in my son's third grade picture, he is wearing a Mario Brothers t-shirt.  My son is now 16 and could care less about that picture, but I love it, because that is really what he looked like every day. 

Today I had to get my girls, ages 7 and 9, ready for their school pictures.   Olivia demanded at 7pm last night that we go shopping because she had nothing to wear.  Obviously that was not going to happen.  She tried on about 10 outfits before I convinced her on the one pictured below. 

My younger daughter, Sarah, reminded me that I needed a pick a "background".  What?  Yes apparently these pictures came with fake backdrops of a waterfall or a forest.  I hate fake backgrounds.  I mean, who are they fooling?  Did they really take my 2nd and 3rd graders out to the forest to take their picture in front of a waterfall? At least for these pictures I didn't have to prepay.  Sometimes for school pictures, they make you send in money BEFORE the pictures are even taken.  That always irks me.  What if the pictures are bad?  My children are always beautiful, of course, but I hate to shell out $30 for bad pictures. 

 

Here's what they looked like when they left this morning.  This was after Olivia told me how much she hated her hair. Sigh.  Hopefully they pictures will turn out great!

Things I learned in Nebraska

Some people live their whole lives in the same town.  They are lucky enough to grow up around cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.  Maybe their family owns the town drugstore or local car dealership, or maybe everyone in their family works for the same local factory.  I did not grow up this way.  I lived in 4 different states while growing up, and have lived in 4 different states since graduating from college in 1991.  When recruiters would ask me if I was able to relocate, I said yes.  I guess that's one of the reasons why we moved to Nebraska a little over two years ago.  Although we had never been there, I had a great job opportunity, so we packed up the girls and went.   

The Midwest is very different from the South.  For starters there is no sweet tea! They ask you if you want your milk in a "sack", and all soda is called "pop".  Here's some other things that I learned in my 2 years in this strange land:

1. EVERYONE (men, women, children) cheers for and watches the Huskers (that's the University of Nebraska) play any and every sport, but especially football.  When the football game is on, the state shuts down to watch.  Additionally, everyone has a red sweatshirt or t-shirt with a big N on it for Nebraska.  I think it's a law when you enter the state.  It is also OK to wear red Nebraska apparel to church.  On Christmas Eve.  I'm not kidding.

2. Omaha has the a LOT of bars. Trulia, a real estate trend-watcher, created maps that divide the U.S. into restaurant cities and bar cities, and Omaha pops up as the city with the third-highest bar density: 8.3 bars per 10,000 households.  It's bizarre. Click here to read the story There are bars in every strip center, all equipped with big screens to watch Nebraska games.    There are also no "blue" laws when it comes to selling alcohol, so it was common to see liquor displays in CVS, Target, and the local grocery store, HyVee.  HyVee once even had a display in the produce department showing how to make punch out of watermelons and everclear.  You just don't see that in the Bible belt south!  Also in HyVee they play radio coverage of the Husker games over the loudspeakers.  Just in case you might miss something on your beer run.

3. It's cold.  Well duh it's Nebraska.  But I'm talking bone chilling -20 degrees with the wind chill cold.  It wasn't uncommon to see snow on a daily basis.   Last year it snowed on May 1st.  Terrible.

4. Women eat in Nebraska.  A lot.  And they eat real foods.  No picking at salad here.  At my office we regularly had "food day" when everyone would bring a dish and we would basically eat all day.  Not great for my weight loss efforts for sure!  I had several skinny co workers (Brooke!) who could eat ANYTHING and stay skinny.  Must be some Midwest lucky gene mutation.

I don't regret the 2 years that we spent in Omaha, but I am very glad to be back in the south. Thanks for reading, y'all!

Are you Happy?

Back not too long ago, when I was a working Mom, my happy, fun workplace changed very suddenly.   My boss and a few coworkers got fired, the Chief Merchant left the company, and some new management was put in place.  Sometimes change is good.  This wasn’t one of those times.  Suddenly it wasn’t the same workplace that I’d signed up for a little over a year earlier.  Some of us working moms started having conversations about staying at home.  The more unhappy we were at work, the greener the grass looked on the other side.  And most of us were very unhappy. 

How important is it to you to be happy every day?  Is that really even possible?  We all can point to happy moments in our lives: our wedding day, birth of our children, vacations, etc.  But what about finding the “happy” in the ordinary Tuesday?  Are you only happy on Fridays? Are you (sometimes) happy with your job?  Are you (sometimes) happy staying at home? Is it possible to find just a moment of happiness every day? When your boss is a jerk, or the garage door breaks, or you get a letter from the IRS, does that ruin your day, your week, or your month?  I started participating in a project on Instagram called #100 days of happiness.  (Note to my Mom: Instagram is like Facebook, only it’s just pictures)  My friend Alicia was trying this, and she inspired me to try it too. In this project, I attempted to post a picture of something that made me happy every day.  I think I got to day 10 and then gave up.  Isn't that ridiculous? You can see what I posted by following me on Instagram at larainedurham.  Alicia is still going strong, and you can follow her at ac27560.  Maybe I will start it back up again.

I think that it’s important to look for the happy in the everyday things, although many days, this can be a challenge.  I know that whenever I listen to the song, “Happy” by Pharrell Williams, I instantly become happy.  Here’s the chorus:

 Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do

What makes you happy?  I hope that today you can find one thing that makes you HAPPY.

The Flex arm hang

There is a new TV show on ABC called the Goldbergs.  It is set in the 80's around a family with 3 kids.  I love this show so much, and my kids love it too.  It seems like every week I can totally relate to the show and it reminds me of being a kid growing up in the 80's. 

 

We had a chin up bar like this in our house, too.

This week's episode is about the Presidential Physical Fitness Test.  I had to do this in PE class in 6th grade at the Rogersville City School cira 1982.  We did a shuttle run, a sprint, sit ups, and the dreaded flex arm hang.  The boys had to do chin ups.  The girls weren't required to do chin ups, but rather just hold our chins above the chin up bar for about 25 seconds or so.  I could pass every part of the test, except this one.  I practiced and practiced for weeks. When it was time for the test, I remember Coach Pierce telling me that it was my turn. I stepped up to the chin up bar as he stood there waiting with a stopwatch. I hopped up and pulled my chin above the bar, counting off the seconds in my head.  Finally after what seemed like an eternity, I let go and looked at him.  Coach Pierce looked at me and said blankly, "You missed it by 1 second."  Really? ONE SECOND?  I was so upset because all my friends had passed the test except me.  I was crushed. 

 
When I told my husband this story, he said, "So what if you didn't pass?  Who cares?"  He did not share my drive of excelling in school, apparently.  I guess it didn't matter in the scope of my life if I passed this test or not.  But I really practiced and tried my best to pass.   In this instance, my best wasn't good enough.  I did lots of things well in school, but this wasn't one of them.  I look at my kids now, and my older daughter, who is in 3rd grade,  shares my drive to excel in school.  She wants to be the smartest and to get the best grades.  Changing schools in February this year was hard for her, because some things (like how to find the perimeter of a shape) she just hasn't learned yet.  Everyone else in her class already knows how to do this, she tearfully told us a few nights ago. 

I want my kids to do well at school, but I know there will be times when they won't.  I suppose sometimes struggle and failure builds character.  After helping our 3rd grader with her math homework the other night, my husband commented that he thought that pretty soon he wouldn't be able to help her with her math anymore.  Math really isn't his thing, and these word problems are pretty intense.  I just laughed and told him not to worry; there is nothing I can't figure out!  After all, that's what Google is for, right?

How's your work life balance?

Work life balance is a popular term in most big companies these days.  At my last employer, we often heard upper management say that they wanted us to have a good work life balance. But as buyers, most of us we were still writing orders on the weekends, and checking emails around the clock. Not to mention traveling at night or on the weekends. That's just what we had to do in order to get the job done.  As working moms and stay at home moms, we get lots of stuff done because we have too (see last post titled "Moms.  We just DO").  We fit that whole Dilbert list up there into our daily lives.  We are awesome at time management and running the show both at work and at home.  We thrive when we are needed and when we are busy.  But are we biting off more than we can chew?  Are we so consumed with having to "Lean In" and do it all, that we are actually burning ourselves out?

What is most important to you?  Is that what you are doing best? If not, maybe it's time to rethink your priorities.  For most of us moms, our first priority is (usually) our family.  But are we really putting them first? Or are our jobs, our commute, and our to do list all getting in the way? What are you ignoring or putting on the back burner because your time is stretched so thin?  Maybe it's your kids, your spouse, your health, or your lack of sleep?

Yes I know that you are important.  People are counting on you. You have quite a lot to do.  And by all means you should do the things that only YOU can do.  Do those important things that need to be done NOW and that will get the biggest results. But you don't have to do everything.  I know it's really hard, but on a few of those non-essential things try to outsource, delegate or say no to some stuff.  I know that you CAN do it all, but hey, you don't HAVE to.

Laundry: The Neverending Story




My new motivational sign for the laundry room. LOL

The problem with the laundry is that it is never completely done.  Since it is never completely done, there is no sense of accomplishment; there is no check off on my to do list.  When I was a working mom, I did a load of laundry here and there.  Some loads at night, most loads on the weekends in between the kids' activities.  I used to work with a mom of three kids that would put a load in before work, and put it in the dryer when she got home.  She would do this every day.  EVERY DAY. 

When we lived in Omaha, our house had the washer and dryer downstairs, and all the bedrooms were upstairs.  There was a laundry shoot from the master bedroom closet into the laundry room, which was kinda fun.  It was easy to send the dirty laundry flying down the chute. I could even convince my kids to put their own laundry down the chute, most of the time.   As a result, there would always be tons of dirty laundry piled up down there.  Sometimes it would get washed and dried and then unloaded onto the dining room table for folding.  It would then stay there indefinitely. I am talking weeks at a time.  Many days my girls would go to the dining room table to get dressed.  Don't judge.  They would always look for socks there on the dining room table.  On the rare occasion where I actually took everything upstairs, they would get upset when they came downstairs to look for socks in the dining room, only to realize that they had to go back upstairs to their actual dressers for socks. 

At our house in NC, the washer and the dryer are upstairs, as are all the bedrooms (insert Hallelujah Chorus here).  SO much easier!  And yet it is still never completely done.  I suppose mainly because I would rather do ANYTHING else than fold laundry.  Today I did 6 loads --- washed, dried, folded and 80% put away.  My mother is the ultimate laundry professional.  She even irons; remarkably she loves to iron.  I am not kidding.  I am sure that I will never reach her level of laundry professional.  I certainly didn't inherit her good housework genes, that's for sure. 

My husband started packing for a business trip last night and joked that he was going to have a matching sock party.  I did not find that at all funny.  However it's true that I hate to match socks.  I have convinced the girls that it's ok to wear unmatched socks.  It's a fashion trend! Hubs also said that he was going to buy 365 pairs of socks so that he could just throw them away every day.  Hmmm, now that sounds like a good business idea to me!