Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Merry Christmas Yia yia

Today I started putting away some of the Christmas decorations.  It always makes me a little sad to do so, and I usually put it off as long as possible.  At Christmas I use my good china, crystal, and flatware for meals and desserts.  I love these things, but I hate to hand wash them.  I almost didn't use them this year at all, because I didn't want to wash them.  Then I realized that was really stupid and I got them out.  My Grandmother gave me a set of nice flatware that I love.  She passed away 7 years ago and I always think about her when I pull out the box with all of the pieces in it.  She had handwritten a note that I keep in the box and I read it every year. 

My Grandmother was born in Greece and came here when she was in her 20's.  She kept her thick Greek accent all of her life, and all of us grand kids loved to try to imitate her accent.  One year at Christmas she called to say hello, and in my best six year old version of a  Greek accent, I exclaimed, "Meddy Christmas Loddy!" (my nickname is Lori).  My Greek cousins thought that this was hilarious, and to this day we still tell each other "Meddy Christmas Loddy."  One of them posted that on my Facebook wall, in fact.

My grandparents met for the first time at their engagement party.  It was an arranged marriage, and soon after the wedding they came to America.  My Grandfather, or Papou in Greek, had been to America before and had started working here. He went back to Greece to find a bride to cook and clean for him.  He found my Grandmother, or Yia yia in Greek, and brought her here. She had grown up on an olive farm, the only girl in the family with five brothers. She spoke not a word of English, and knew no one.  She barely knew my Papou. 

This was in the 1930's, and there weren't many working moms then.  So she cooked and cleaned and learned to speak English on her own.  She had 3 children, the youngest was my Dad.  My Yia yia was very smart, and I think if she were born today, she would've been a doctor.  She loved to try and diagnose her friends and family when they were sick.  She even subscribed to medical journals to learn more about medicine.

I am glad to have opportunities that my Yia yia didn't have.  She made the best of what she had, and made a great baklava.  Meddy Christmas Yia yia, I miss you.


Thursday, December 22, 2011

2 weeks vacay at home = 12 days too long


I'm bored, but cute!
My kids' last day of school before Christmas was last Friday, December 16.  They don't go back to school until January 2.  Luckily for me, that means that we are almost halfway through. I love my children, don't get me wrong, but what the heck are we supposed to do all day for 2 weeks?  To make matters worse this week it has been raining.  We have made cookies, gone to the park (before it started raining), and gone shopping for last minute presents. Yesterday we went to see the new Chipmunks movie (In case you're wondering, it wasn't that bad.  The Smurfs movie was much worse!).

Today I took them to an art studio for a drop in session.  I am now officially out of ideas.  Please send me all of your suggestions, preferably suggestions that are low cost / no cost. And please don't suggest board games, because I hate them.  I also hate crafts.  I really need to go back to work!  My 13 year old son is especially hard to entertain unless video games are involved. Unfortunately several of his friends that lived in our neighborhood have moved away, so that makes it hard as well.

I have seriously considered letting them open an early Christmas present, but so far have held myself back.  Yesterday presents arrived from my sister and from our next door neighbor, so we spent the afternoon trying to figure out the new Figits and and playing with Barbies.  I keep trying to remember what we did last year during this time, but that was right after I lost my job and I think I have blocked out the entire month of December 2010. It's hard to be happy with your kids at home, when you're worried about how you're going to pay for Christmas presents, your mortgage and your car payment. 

So Christmas, hurry up and get here!  I might have to resort to doing laundry and cleaning out closets! ACK! Someone, please come entertain me!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Please don't punch my kid in the face

While out of town this week on a job interview, I received an email from Sarah's Kindergarten teacher.  Apparently, one of Sarah's male classmates decided to punch her in the face.  Neither the teacher nor Sarah knew why he did this, and apparently was unprovoked.  The email went on to say that the boy's parents were called in to the school to speak with the principal, and that the boy had to apologize to Sarah.  This was not an email I wanted to see while 800 miles away from home.  And by the way, didn't this at least warrant a phone call from the teacher?  Not that I could have taken the call, however; my day was filled with 8 interviews and a store walk through. 

I forwarded the email to my husband and called home to talk to Sarah.  Did it hurt?  Yes, but it's fine now Mommy.  Why did he do that?  I don't know Mommy.  Hmm.  I flew home as planned Friday morning, which was the last day of school before "winter break".  I guess you can't say "Christmas vacation" anymore, even in Kindergarten.  I picked up Sarah, and she had several things to show me.  The boy had written out an apology letter to Sarah, and an apology letter to me and my husband.  There was also a letter from the boy's parents to me.  Additionally, there was a Hello Kitty doll.  The letters explained that the boy had to spend his allowance to get Sarah a gift as an apology / peace offering. The boy's Mom explained in her letter that her son had issues with "impulse control" and he had "made a bad choice."  Yeah, I guess he did. Wow.  I kinda felt bad for this boy.   As parents we never want our kids to be the ones making the "bad choice", but let's be honest, it happens. I'm glad these parents took it so seriously.  I also personally love Hello Kitty, and that helped.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Magic Hat

As a Mom, I try to get my kids Christmas gifts that they will really love.  As I think back to Christmases I had growing up, I remember bikes, clothes, games, books and toys. But the most memorable gift I received was a magic hat set.  It was a plastic top hat and magic wand set, complete with instructions on how to do magic tricks.  I don't remember if it was a gift for me, my younger sister, or for both of us.  Santa sometimes brought us joint gifts since my sister and I were just 14 months apart.  On this particular Christmas I think we were around 7 or 8 years old. 

I opened the magic hat and started trying to figure out how it worked.  My Dad took one look at it, and decided that he knew how it worked, without reading the instructions, of course.  My Dad is by far the smartest man I know.  He could take a car apart and put it back together.  He could build anything out of wood: our kitchen table, toy airplanes and cars, bookcases.  He could answer any question that I could ask him. He knew something about any subject.  He tutored our babysitter in algebra.  Later when I was in high school he tutored me and all my friends in physics (Interesting trivia fact: our physics teacher was a finalist to ride on the space shuttle that blew up).  So when my Dad said to me on that Christmas morning that he wanted to try out the magic hat, I didn't doubt his ability for a second.

From this point on, there are varying versions of the story, depending on who tells it.  I remember it as Dad pouring a glass of water into the hat; Mom remembers it as Dad pouring a glass of milk into the hat.  Then Dad said to me, "Hey Lori, let me put this magic hat on your head."

"But Dad," I said, "the milk / water / unknown liquid will pour out on my head!"

"Don't worry," Dad said.  "Trust me!  It's a MAGIC hat."

So I walked over to him and waited for him to put the magic hat on my head.  In seconds I was drenched.  I looked at him in disbelief.  I couldn't believe that he would do that to me.  My Mother later told me that the look on my face was that of pure shock.

"Oops," Dad said.  "Sorry Lori." 

Moral of the story?  Read the directions. And don't be your Dad's magic hat assistant.

Happy Holidays everyone.  And please don't buy your children a magic hat!

Monday, December 12, 2011

To wrap or not to wrap?

I really dislike wrapping presents.  I think it is a waste of time and money.  Not to mention it's not great for the environment, either.  All that time and effort, spent on something that the kids will rip apart as soon as they see it.   A few years ago I tried convincing my husband that we should just leave the gifts from Santa unwrapped under the tree on Christmas morning.  I have some clear memories of Christmas as a child, coming downstairs, flipping on the lights, and feasting my eyes on all of the presents that Santa had brought, unwrapped of course.  I think that was the year that my sister and I got a magic hat set (which will be the subject of tomorrow's post).  However, there was no way to convince my husband that this was a good idea. We must wrap everything! In over sized boxes! With bricks in the bottom to fool them! Ugh.

I taught my nephews to call me Aunt Pretty.
I think Austin was 10 years old before he
realized that my name was Laraine.
Back when I was a working Mom, my time for wrapping was limited.  Our weekends were busy with family activities, sports, and errands.  Mostly I would wrap at night when the kids were in bed. So I would stress out about wrapping all this stuff, stay up  too late, and repeat the cycle the next night until it was done.  And then of course my husband would tell me that I wasn't wrapping the packages "correctly".  Good thing we only have blunt tipped scissors in our house.  Actually he can't help it, he's a Virgo.  Virgo's have an inherent need to compulsively organize and line up things.  I am the polar opposite, and see no need to line up cans in the pantry or load the dishwasher a certain way.  I feel like if the wrapping paper is on the package, then my job is done.  Line up the design? Hide the tape? Please. Give me a break.

Sarah, my 5 year old, has been asking me every day for the past week to help me wrap presents.  Yesterday I finally gave in.  Sarah and Olivia helped me wrap presents for our family members.  Sarah was in charge of the tape, and Olivia wrote out all the gift tags.  Then Sarah wanted to write out some tags, too, and all hell just about broke loose.  Let's just suffice it to say that Olivia ended up in time out and we wrapped it up pretty quickly after that. I bought some more gift wrap (on sale) at CVS today.  Maybe I can get a few more presents wrapped before time for carpool.

Friday, December 9, 2011

The out of town interview

Well it's official.  I have a plane ticket for an interview next week.  Please be thinking about me as I have a full day of interviews starting at 8am and ending at 5pm.  I will be interviewing with 7 different upper level management people.  The hardest thing about these kinds of days is that by the 5th or 6th interview, it's hard not to feel brain dead. 

I have had a few out of town interviews this past year, some I was semi-interested in, and some I was VERY interested in.  In February I interviewed with a company that I was VERY interested in.  They flew me down, and had a car pick me up at the airport.  The hotel where I was staying was only a few blocks from their downtown office building.  This hotel had a shuttle that would drive me over in the morning, no problem.  I had a friend that already worked at this company, and we met for a drink when I got there, the night before.  Things were going smoothly; I liked the area, everything looked great. 


Me and my new travel umbrella
I woke up the day of the interview and it was pouring rain.  Hmm. I had no coat, no umbrella, nada.  Good thing the hotel has that shuttle, right?  I got in the van and told the driver where I was going, complete with address.  He drove me the couple blocks and dropped me off.  I got out and realized that this was not the right place.  He had dropped me at the wrong office building.  It was still raining.  Panic set in. Ok, deep breath, get out your iPhone. I GPS'ed walking directions from my location to the correct office.  Only I had no idea which direction was north, even though I was less than a quarter mile from my destination.  I could figure that out, but I would need to walk in the rain.  Ah ha! A gift shop in the office building where I was, surely they will have umbrellas.  They didn't. Panic.

There was no way I had come this far to give up now.  I saw a man behind a desk in the lobby.  I walked up to him and said, "Sir, can I buy that umbrella there behind you?"  Being the southern gentleman that he was he said, "No, but you can borrow it, just bring it back."  Ok, great, I'll solve the problem of the return later.  I thanked him and was off.  Hopefully my shoes wouldn't be ruined.

I was now going to be late.  I called my HR contact, no answer.  I left a message and carried on. I found the right building and ha ha funny story to tell!  It's raining!  I had to borrow this umbrella!  Driver took me to wrong building! I think I had 7 interviews in a row that day too, including a store walk through.  It all went pretty well.  At the end of the day I asked my HR contact to please please please return this umbrella.  I really hope that he did.  I flew home, and I hoped for an offer.    Needless to say, I didn't get it.  My HR contact finally called to tell me that they really liked me, but offered the job to someone else with just a little more experience.  He also told me that I was their 2nd choice.  Gee thanks. I was crushed. 

After that interview I bought a travel sized umbrella.  I always take it with me for interviews, no matter what the forecast.  Live and learn, I guess. 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Things I learned in Kindergarden

I don't remember much about my own time in Kindergarten.  We lived in Petersburg, VA, and my sister and I attended a church kindergarten.  I remember show and tell, weekly readers, and riding tricycles on the black top. 

Sarah's stocking creation

This year my youngest child, Sarah, started kindergarten.  At the beginning of the year, the teacher sent an email via signupgenius.com asking for Moms to volunteer to help with "centers".  Being the Accidental Stay At Home Mom that I am, I thought, sure! I'll help! Why not?  I logged on and reviewed the time slots (this was in August, mind you.)  Two of the other moms had signed up for every single time slot from August through the end of November.  Seriously? While I was glad to see that Sarah's class had some very interested Moms, I was ticked off that I would have to wait until December to help out in her class.  I mean, surely I would have another job by then, right?  But here we are, December 7th, and I am not working. So off I went to kindergarten. 

I arrived a few minutes early and the class was having their math lesson using pennies and nickles. 
Teacher: Class, if I want to buy a candy bar that is 10 cents, what coins would I use to pay for it?
student #1: Ten pennies!
student #2: Ten dollars!
student #3: A credit card!
For the record, student #3 was not my child.   However, I am surprised that Sarah didn't say that.  During the course of the lesson, one kid fell out of his chair, one kid picked a scab on his elbow and started bleeding, and one kid started telling me about how his family read a story about St. Nick last night.  Controlled chaos.
Soon it was time for me to help with "centers", whatever that is.  The teacher explained to me that for my center,  I would be helping the children make construction paper stockings.   The kids would sew these with yarn, glue cotton on the top, and write their initials with glue and glitter.  Um, hello, this is a CRAFT.  I do not like crafts.  I am not good at crafts. I avoid crafts at all costs.  Now I have to help 15 five year olds complete this craft. I showed the kids the finished example, then tried to explain how to push the yarn in and out of the pre punched holes.  A few kids could do this without any help.  A few kids just didn't get it at all.  One sweet little girl started to cry when she couldn't get the yarn through the hole.  I was kinda surprised at how many different skill levels were in just this one class. Soon enough, my hour was over, and I was covered in glitter.  I needed a nap.  Or a glass of wine.  Maybe both.  I'm not sure how these other moms do this.  I certainly confirmed that I would not be a good kindergarten teacher.  But for one day, it wasn't so bad at all.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Elf on the Shelf


Sarah and Olivia with Justin the Elf
Justin found a spot on the oven recently
As a former working Mom, I had co workers who would swear by the Elf on the Shelf.  I would hear tales of how their kids loved it and how they would be so good for the month before Christmas. I really didn't know what this elf thing was, or why it was a good idea.  I put it on my list of "things to Google" and went back to to my desk.  This year, as an Accidental Stay At Home Mom, I finally had the time to check it out.  A few weeks back I was cruising the aisles in Target, and saw that they had these Elf things on sale.  I picked one up and learned the rules to Elf on a Shelf:

1. You must name him
2. At night the Elf flies back to Santa and reports on the childrens' behaviour
3. The Elf will reappear in a different spot in the house
4. No one is allowed to touch the Elf

For a link to the official Elf on a Shelf website, click here
My 2 girls are ages 5 and 7 and have really gotten into this.  They went through several names (Sebastian, Daniel, Fred) before settling on the name Justin.  They now pop right out of bed every morning to see where Justin has landed. They each want to be the first one to find him.  Sarah's eyes light up and she is so happy when she finds him.  For the first couple of days Olivia kept asking, "Mommy are you SURE that it wasn't you that moved the Elf??"

Yesterday we had some of the girls' friends over to play.  Things were going well until Kylie, age 8, screamed out from the kitchen,  "I see Mr. Nutcracker! I see Mr. Nutcracker!"  Alarmed, I walked over to see if there was a serial killer sitting at my kitchen table.  She was pointing to our Elf, Justin, who had landed on the light fixture above the kitchen table.  Whew.  OK, another crisis narrowly averted.  "Mr. Nutcracker?" I asked. "Yes," Kylie said, "We call our Elf Mr. Nutcracker."  Gotcha. 

Monday, December 5, 2011

My husband, the Iron Chef

I have never been a very good cook.  I have made attempts at it now and then, but not with much success.  My son Alexander loves to tell the story about when Mommy tried to cook dinner and made a big ball of cheese (not on purpose).  My husband, Christopher, however is a great cook.  I think he is a better cook than chefs in most restaurants where I have eaten. Back when we first started dating about 8 years ago, he offered to cook me dinner.  There was nothing in my townhouse (that I could cook) and I suggested that we go out.  He looked in the freezer and the pantry, and within about 30 minutes whipped up a pasta primavera type dish out of frozen peas, pasta, and shredded cheese.  It was delicious!  I think if he'd asked me to marry him right there, I would have said yes.  We did actually get married about 6 months after that.  He had been thinking about quiting his job and going to cooking school in NYC when we met.  He never got around to going to cooking school, but he has watched enough Food Network to fool most people.


The secret is the brine
Since we were in London over Thanksgiving (see previous post, "London Calling"), Christopher didn't get to make his traditional turkey dinner. He loves to cook for lots of people, coming from a family where he had a twin brother, plus 6 other adopted brothers and sisters.  One year I think we had 25 people over, and Christopher cooked just about all the dishes. This past Sunday, Christopher cooked a turkey, and made dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes and rolls.  It was great.  It also reminded me that I really need to start running again or else my clothes are not going to fit. 

Since I am now the Accidental Stay at Home Mom, I feel compelled to try to cook dinner. There are a few things that I can cook: roasted chicken, pasta with meatballs, tacos.  My husband likes it when I attempt to cook, but even my girls know that "Daddy's cooking is better!"  When I am in super coupon mode my grocery shopping becomes somewhat erratic. I come home with all kinds of new and different items (they were free! under a dollar!  on clearance!).  My husband grumbles that there is no way we need 5 bottles of hot sauce, and that I am not buying ingredients that he actually needs for cooking dinner.  I just smile and tell him to pretend that he is on Iron Chef.  Secret ingredient: Hot Sauce! 

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Huntersville Half Marathon Blues

Although I signed up and paid the $50 to run the first Huntersville Half Marathon this past Saturday, I was unable to do it.  My calf injury did not heal in time, and as a result I missed too much of the training.  However I did go out and cheer on the runners, since the race went right through my neighborhood.  My two girls and I bundled up, stood on the curb, and clapped and cheered for the runners as they went by.  Some waved back, and said thanks, others smiled.  When I have run in other races, I have noticed people clapping and cheering on the sidelines, and I always appreciated it.  But I always wondered, why are they on the sidelines and not in the race?  Who are they really there to support?  If I stop and walk, will they stop clapping?
My sister, Ec, and me last year before
the Kiawah Half Marathon. Ec does triathalons
too and is super fast!

I saw my former Team in Training Coach, Kenny, and we clapped and cheered for him.  Last year I ran the Kiawah, SC half marathon with Team in Training and raised money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  Unfortunately Kenny had his headphones in and didn't hear or see us.  I saw lots of my Fleet Feet training group friends, including Bernadette, who I used to run with during the Saturday training runs.  We both ran with around a 12 min/mile pace, so we usually ran together and kept tabs on each other.  We were the slowest runners in our training group.  I usually don't like to run with other people, since I am so slow, but "Bern" and I really matched up well.  When I saw her running she came over to me and gave me a big hug.  She did great, finishing the half in 2:44. 

After all the runners went by we went back home, and my husband decided to trek out to the grocery store.  On his way home, he passed a lady sitting on the curb, wearing a half marathon race number, and crying.  He stopped and asked her if she needed help.  She said that she had gotten lost in one of the neighborhoods, and kept running in circles. She couldn't figure out how to get back on the half marathon route. I thought that this route was really complicated and hilly, and the traffic was not blocked off for it.  My husband said that she reminded him of me.  He told the lady that his wife was supposed to run in this race, but hurt her leg.  He offered her a ride, which she cautiously accepted, and he got her back on track.   I am glad that he stopped to help her.  When I hurt my calf I sat on the side of Birkdale Commons Parkway and cried for about 5 minutes because I knew that I had really hurt myself.  I always run with my iPhone, and debated calling my husband when my running coach Christina came along and found me. 

Whenever I register for a race, my girls ask me if I am going to win. I try to explain that no, Mommy just wants to finish, I'm not trying to win.  Then they look at me like I have three heads, shrug their shoulders, and then go back to whatever they were doing.  Congratulations to all the finishers of the Huntersville Half Marathon.  Y'all did great!

Friday, December 2, 2011

30 Days of Thankfulness




Me and my Dad at his 70th birthday party
This year during the month of November, I decided to copy some friends' Facebook page idea, and post one thing every day that I was thankful for.  Days 1-15 were easy: kids, family, husband, friends.  But after that it got harder.  I had to really look at all that I had around me, things that I took for granted on a daily basis, and give thanks for those things.  Beautiful sunny days, rainy days, cinnamon rolls, naps.  Things I normally don't think about for more than 2 seconds.  Some days I just stared at the computer trying to think of something, which looking back, is ridiculous, since I have so much to be thankful for.  But the process helped me shift my focus from oh crap, how am I going to make the car payment this month, to hey, I get to go be with my daughter for her school's Thanksgiving Feast today. 
My husband, Christopher, me, Jessica and John Gallman
Yeah the economy stinks, I am unemployed, and Christmas is right around the corner.  But for 5 minutes a day let's focus on what we do have, even if it's eyes to see or ears to hear.  We all have so much just living in the USA: clean water, free education, highways.  Not everyone in the world is so lucky.  So for today, for just 5 minutes, give thanks to the universe for one thing you have.  Maybe it will change your outlook on the whole rest of the day.


Laraine's 30 days of thankfulness list (in a nutshell) :
1. My husband, Christopher
2. Harris Teeter Super Double coupon week
3. My kids
4. My home
5. Great schools
6.My torn calf muscle almost healing
7. Being able to pick up my daughter from school when she got sick
8. Friends
9. Parents
10. Neighbors
11. Our Dr. Barracus
12. my Dad's 70th birthday party
13. just missing a bad wreck on the highway
14. Beautiful weather
15. Being able to go to Sarah's Thanksgiving Feast at school
16. Rain
17. My husband's blog, and getting to go to England
18. Olga, our former nanny
19. Cinnamon Rolls
20. Naps
21. 75 Degree days in November
22. Travel
23. Safe airports
24. Travel size liquids
25. Frequent flier miles
26. being back in USA
27. Star Wars marathons on TV
28. Unexpected windfalls
29. Calls from recruiters
30. Thankful to be done and thankful for this year

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

House cleaning YUK

Confession: I am not good at cleaning the house, nor do I have a desire to learn how to do it well.  Since owning my first home in the late 90's, I have always had a maid.  I have also always worked full time.  I love coming home after a day at work, and the house being "magically" cleaned, as if by elves.  My mother and sister are of course, appalled. My mother has always been a stay at home mom and cleaned her own house; my sister has gone from school teacher, back to stay at home mom, back to school teacher, and has always cleaned her own house.  They were both born to clean, almost seeming to revel in it.  My sister's room was always neat, but my mother always picked up my stuff.  I guess I got used to it, what can I say. 
Olga with my 3 kids a few years ago
After Sarah was born we hired a nanny, since we had 3 kids (2 under the age of 2) and both my husband and I worked full time.  Her name is Olga, and she is from El Salvador.  I know, you don't hear of many people named Olga from El Salvador, but that's her name.  She is a few years older than me and has 4 boys of her own.  Her husband, Gene, is from Cuba, and works doing carpentry work and odd jobs.  They are a very hardworking family, and I have enjoyed getting to know them over the years.  Olga was born to clean.  She hardly ever sits down and was always cleaning something or washing something in my house.  My 2 little girls love to imitate her by scrubbing the bathtub or shower door pretending to "wash" it. Lord knows they didn't learn that from me!

Olga left us when Olivia went to Kindergarten, which was about 4 months before I lost my job.  I am thankful that I was able to give Olga enough notice to find another job, and that my job loss didn't trickle down and affect her ability to feed her 4 boys.  Olga still cleans for us every other week.  She laughs at me when I make attempts to clean.  She knows that I'm not good at it, either. PS -- Olga is accepting new houses to clean if you are interested, send me a private message.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Haircolor and the Accidental Stay at Home Mom

Let me just say right off the bat, that I haven't seen my natural hair color since I was pregnant with my son in 1998. I like my hair blond, not brown. No offense to anyone, but blondes really do have more fun :) As a working Mom, I would get my hair cut and colored in the salon about every 2 months or so.  This process could sometimes take up to 2 hours, and wasn't something I could work in during the week.  So usually I would schedule my appointments way in advance for a Saturday when my husband could watch the kids.  This would set me back anywhere from $100 -$200 depending on where I was living at the time.  After baby #3 (unexpectedly) arrived I decided I would try my hand at the home hair color kit, since diapers and a nanny were now a priority.  That attempt was a disaster, and I went back to the salon where I paid around $300 for the 3 hours of work it took to fix my mistake.  Some time went by and I forgot about this trauma; what can I say, I was sleep deprived and stressed out.  I saw a new product called root touch up.  Just what I needed!  I used it and it worked great.  I could delay my salon visits by at least a month. 

darker than I like
After that I got bold and decided to try all over color myself.  My hair is very thick, so it hides small errors that I may make in application.  My husband said it looked as good as the salon.  I believed him, since he wasn't one to give me a hard time over my hair appointments.  My blond friends can't believe that I do this myself successfully.  I have tried Miss Clairol, Preference (because I'm worth it!), John Frieda, and Nutreisse.  My favorite is Preference, but I will use coupons if I can get one free or cheap.  A few weeks ago I got a coupon in the mail from CVS to try the new John Freida foam.  3 days before my husband and I were leaving for London, I decided to try it.  My light shinny blond went to a dark mousy brown. Not pretty.  I went back to CVS and got another box of Preference the next day and tried again.  My hair was so dark, that my normal shade of Preference didn't deliver results.  Yesterday, after a week in London, I tried again with a lighter shade.  My kids and husband didn't notice a change, although I thought it was a bit lighter.  Sigh.  I guess I will have to wait a few weeks or risk totally frying my hair.  I am hoping for some out of town interviews in a few weeks.  Maybe that will give me a good excuse to go back to the salon. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

London Calling / The travelling Mom

As a working Mom, I used to travel about once a month for work.  As soon as my girls saw my suitcase come out of the closet, they always wanted to "help Mommy pack".  This is a nice thought, but stuffed animals, blankies and books weren't generally items that I needed for a business trip.  As a result I would have to pack in secret, when they were sleeping or when they were otherwise occupied.

I would be gone for about a week or so, always feeling guilty about the travel, but mostly enjoying it at the same time.  I love to go to new places and see new things.  My Dad travelled all over the world for his job when I was growing up.  So much so that my cousins used to say that he was secretly in the CIA or something like that.  He was a Delta 2 million miler when he retired.  I doubt I will ever have THAT many miles, but I have been to some far away places like Turkey, Indonesia, and China. 

Packing and traveling by myself is one thing, but when travelling with kids, it is a whole different ballgame.  Getting them packed and ready for a week at Grandma's house is the equivalent of launching the space shuttle out of my backyard.  In addition to making sure they have enough clothes, underwear and pajammas, we also have to collect and pack video games, dvd players and coloring books for the car ride.  I'm just glad I don't have to carry a diaper bag anymore.

This past week my husband had the opportunity to speak at a conference on private brands in London, England.  I decided to go with him, even though it was over Thanksgiving.  You see, they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in London.  So I took the kids to Grandma and Grandpa's house and we were off.  You can read about the conference on my husband's blog here: http://mypbrand.com/2011/11/27/own-label-meets-private-brand-in-london/#comments

We had a great time.  I have always loved New York City, and London was very much like NYC.  We did a double decker bus tour and saw Wesminster Abbey, the London Eye, and The Tower of London.  We went to a restaurant serving an "American Thanksgiving Dinner" on Thursday, but sadly, it wasn't very good.  But no worries, we will fix our own Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. Interesting trivia tidbit --- did you know that in London they serve baked beans for breakfast?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Recruiters and phone interviews

I have had LOTS of phone interviews since losing my job.  Mostly from recruiters, and some from the actual hiring managers.  Back when I was working, you could always tell when someone was trying to get another job.  I would see them outside the building, on their cell phones, not looking at anyone.  Personally, I always got in my car and drove somewhere else so I wouldn't be noticed.  Once I parked at a gas station and was talking to a Walmart recruiter, when my boss pulled into the gas station and started filling up his car.  Oops.  I don't think he noticed me.  I hope not anyway.  By the way, there are quite a few Walmart buyer jobs open now since they are moving merchandising from NYC back to Arkansas.   Send me a message if you want the name of the recruiter.  Their interview process is intense, and I have no desire to live in AR.

ready for my phone interview!

Sometimes recruiters will call me out the blue, and that's when it's good to have your 2 minute elevator speech ready.  You have worked on that since my last blog post about it, right?  Other times they will want to schedule a time when they can ask you a series of questions. I have found it's helpful to stand up and walk around while talking.  It's also helpful to look in a mirror to make sure you're smiling.  It sounds strange but it's true.  Recruiters want to hear that excitement and positive attitude in your voice.  You should also be able to recite your resume from memory. Every date, every figure, every number needs to match up.  You will also want to make sure that your children are under someone else's care.  Even if I lock myself in the study and tell the kids that I have an important phone call, one of them will come banging on the door and yelling MOMMY! Not exactly helpful in the interview process. You should also get dressed.  Not in an interview suit or anything, but make sure that you aren't in your pajamas.  If you feel professional, then you are professional.  Another tip is get a land line.  I know, you ditched your land line years ago and you use your cell phone for everything.  I did too, until I started taking phone interviews at home, and my calls kept dropping. Grrrrr. Thanks AT&T!  I love my iPhone, but AT&T is the worst.  Always remember to thank the caller for their time and follow up with an email in a day or two.  The most important thing to remember is to make it easy for the recruiter to recommend you.  They don't get paid unless they successfully place a candidate.  They want to find good candidates, so make sure that you are one. 

Do you have any other good tips?  If so leave them in the comments below.  I have another phone interview coming up soon. If all goes well, I hope to be invited to their corporate office.  Which leads me to my next post.... the in person, out of town, interview.  Stay tuned!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

i heart coupons


About 2 years ago a coworker (hi Beth!) came to my desk and showed me all the things she had just gotten for free on her lunch hour with coupons.  FREE?  I had used coupons in the past here and there, but I had never gotten anything for free before.  She also showed me a couple blogs where they would show you which items to buy at what stores and give you a link to print out the coupon over the internet.  I got started with CVS, since there was one close by work, and I could zip in there on my lunch hour.  I got all kinds of things for free: toothpaste, razors, deodorant.  Then I started working it for my favorite grocery store, Harris Teeter.  I've gotten free milk, butter, rice, potato chips, carpet cleaner, and more.  The trick is to match up weekly sales with the coupons.  I usually don't buy an item unless it's on sale and I have a coupon for it.  It's really easy, and all it takes is time, a computer, a printer, and a Sunday newspaper. 

22 items for $20.46 a few weeks ago during triple coupons at Harris Teeter

My favorite coupon sites are Southernsavers.com and Moolasavingmom.com.  I also like Moneysavingmom.com and Dealseekingmom.comIheartcvs.com is also cool because she posts pictures of what she bought and how much she spent and saved.  I actually used to have my own blog,  http://drugstoremom.blogspot.com/ but I stopped writting it in 2009 when work got too busy.  But the blog is still there, you can go check it out.  I was very focused on getting cheap diapers back then!  I'm glad I don't need those anymore!

Just for the record, let me state that I am NOT one of those "extreme coupon-ers" like on that TLC show.  Those people are buying coupons from services and their stores don't have limits on the number of coupons that you can use.  I also do not have a "stockpile" of stuff that I got for free. Well, not anymore, anyway :)  There was a time when I had 4 bottles of Texas Pete Hot Sauce in the pantry.  Hey, it was free!  It's easy to get carried away.  Now I really try to get things that my family will use.  I also try to donate stuff to charity if we have more than we need. Since I lost my job, I have gotten more creative and been able to spend more time on couponing. I went from spending $150 per week on groceries to around $50 per week.  I just print out the coupons I need before I go shopping.  I also have a pink binder with plastic baseball card dividers that I use to organize my coupons.  I'll post pictures of my weekly trips so you can check it out, if you're interested. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Dance Lessons

Olivia
Sarah


How many activities can a working mom handle for their kids?  Not many, let me tell you.  For the past couple of years my girls have played soccer.  Well, actually only Olivia would play, and Sarah would pick up leaves on the soccer field and chase butterflies.  Seasonal allergies have always bothered my daughter Olivia, making it hard for her to breathe sometimes, so this fall we decided to switch to a dance class.  One night a week both girls have a ballet / tap class.  I wouldn't have been able to take them to this class if I was still working, as it starts before the workday ends.  I always had that working Mom guilt of not being able to take them to activities during the week.  It was just too hectic. 

This dance class is a pretty easy drop off for me, because there is no room for the Moms to sit and watch the girls dance.  They encourage us to leave, and then come back in an hour when class is over.  Much better for me than standing around a soccer field for an hour, especially in the cold.  But as a result, I have no idea if they are learning anything, or if they are enjoying it.  Tonight the Moms got to sit in on a class, but only because they needed us to confirm costume sizes for the recital in May.  I took lots of dance classes with my sister growing up in Virginia.  We took ballet, tap, jazz, and gymnastics.  I always loved the recitals with all the "fancy" costumes.  I actually loved everything about those dance classes, and hoped that my girls would, too.  At the girls' class tonight, they performed part of their ballet routine and part of their tap routine.  Unfortunately I left my iPhone on the kitchen counter, and didn't get to video the performance.  Olivia, my 7 year old, was doing all of the dance steps, while also singing along with the music.  I could tell that she loved it.  She was smiling and dancing her heart out.  Sarah, my 5 year old, was much more intense.  There was no smile on her face, just steely concentration as she kept up with the moves.  A few weeks ago Sarah wanted to drop out of dance.  It was time to put the deposit down on the recital outfit, and I didn't want to pay for it if she wasn't going to do it.  When she realized that there was a fancy costume involved at the end if she kept going to class, she quickly changed her mind.  The kid loves to dress up.  They have adult dance classes there too.  Hmm maybe if I sign up there will be a recital with fancy costumes at the end too.  Yay!

Monday, November 14, 2011

So what do YOU do?

My Uncle and my Dad
Fantastic decorations by my Mom's friend Connie
This past weekend we celebrated my Dad's 70th birthday.  My Mom threw him a party and it was very nice.  My Dad was born in the USA, but his parents came here from Greece in the 1930's.  So the party had a Greek theme.   There were around 50 or so people, mostly family and close friends of my Mom and Dad.  A lot of their friends I had met once or twice, but some I had never met before.  After introducing myself, my husband, and my children, people would ask me the question, "So what do you do?"  I had to stop and think.  I wasn't ready to answer this question and it really caught me off guard.  Hmm, that's a good question.  What DO I do?  I don't consider myself a stay at home Mom.  Not yet, anyway.   So I'm not really a stay a home Mom, but I'm not really a working Mom either.  Who am I?  Funny how our identities are so strongly tied to how we spend the workday.  As a working Mom, I had certain perceptions of stay at home Moms.  And I know that stay at home Moms have certain perceptions of working Moms.  So my response went something like, "Well I used to be a clothing buyer for over 10 years, but my position was eliminated in December, so I have been looking for a job."  Whenever you say "clothing buyer" to a woman, her face lights up, and the general response is, "Wow! What a great job, I always wanted to do something like that."  Yes, it's a great job, and I did like it, most days. But it's not like I was helping people or curing cancer or anything.  One of the online job blogs that I follow says that you should always have your "2 minute elevator speech" ready to tell someone your story.  You practice it, memorize it, so that you can easily tell a recruiter or job interviewer a concise response to "tell me about yourself".  Over the past year I have talked to dozens of recruiters and been on several job interviews.  I'd like to say that I have my 2 minute elevator speech down pat by now, but it changes all the time.  How do you define yourself?  What is it that you like to do, what is it that you are good at?  Is that how you are spending your days?  Are you really making the most of your time?  Or are you punching a clock, staring at a computer screen, wishing that you were somewhere else?  When you get to age 70, will you look back and be proud of your career?  Or will you wish you had spent more time with your children ?

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Sick day

My sweet Sarah
Have you ever talked about something, and then it came true?  It's called the Law of Attraction.  For example one day I was talking with my assistant, Caroline, about car wrecks for some reason (I don't really remember why), and then that day upon driving home, Caroline got into a minor car wreck.  Or another example is when you are thinking about a song, and then it comes on the radio.  Or like yesterday when I was talking about sick days, and then today my daughter Sarah has strep throat.  For the past day or two Sarah has been saying that her throat hurt.  I'd make her some tea, and then think that she was fine. This morning she woke up and said that it REALLY hurt.  As a working mom, this would be my dilemma. Do I just give her Advil and send her on her way to school?  Then go to work and feel guilty and wait for the school nurse to call?  Or do I take a PTO / sick day from work and take my child to the doctor, where she may or may not get a prescription for any medicine that will make her feel better?  Today, as a stay at home mom, I decided to keep her home from school and take her to the doctor.  A quick throat culture revealed that yes, Sarah did have strep. For the second time in 2 months, no less.  So it was off to CVS (my favorite drug store) to get the prescription filled.  A few weeks ago I was feeling like I was getting sick.  I even went to the doctor after a few days.  When I was a working mom I didn't go to the doctor unless I felt like I was DYING.   The doctor said I had a cold.  Take some Mucinex, and that will be $35 dollars please.  If I had been working, I'm sure that I wouldn't have gone to the doctor.  I would have popped some Advil and sat at my desk and tried to work.  Being out sick was looked down upon, and no one wanted to use up their vacation days being at home, sick.  But now as a stay at home mom, I got the Mucinex, took some Advil, and stayed on the couch all day long watching daytime TV.  And you know what, it was pretty nice. 

Friday, November 11, 2011

Field trips and the working Mom


Sarah with her bear
As a working mom, your kid's field trips are always cause for concern, because you KNOW that you can't possibly go on all of them, or maybe even any of them.  There are only so many vacation days that you can take off, and you know that you will need to save some of those for when your kids get sick.  At my last workplace, there was no such thing as sick time, or vacation time; it was all lumped together under Paid Time Off days, or PTO for short. After working there for 5 years,  I had 13 PTO days, and that was it.  So when a field trip came up, my kids would always want me to come along with their class.  Most of the time, I couldn't.  I would hear tales of the museam, or the pumpkin patch, or the play, and always feel guilty that I was at work doing things like spending 2 hours in a meeting debating a shade of purple for next year's color palate.  Yikes.  Was this what I was supposed to be doing with my life?

But now as a stay at home Mom, I have been able to go on every field trip in the past year.  I have been to the strawberry patch, to the play in downtown Charlotte, and to Build a Bear today.  My youngest daughter got picked out of the lottery to attend a charter school for kindergarden.  Charter schools are public schools, but they pick kids randomly by a lottery to attend.  Most Moms in my area put their kids in the lottery every year for these charter schools, since the regular public schools are so overcrowded.  I have put my kids into the lottery for YEARS and had no luck getting picked.  Until last year when I entered child #3, Sarah, into the lottery for Kindergarden.  A few months after losing my job, I found out she had gotten in. 


The class lining up to stuff the bears
At this particular school, they require students to do community service project hours.  So the kindergardeners take a field trip to Build a Bear at the mall.  There they all make a bear, and then give them away to children in the hospitals.  Build a Bear did an awesome job of keeping the kids interested in picking out the bears, stuffing the bears, and decorating the bears with a bow or two.  When you have around 20 five year olds, that can be a big task.  It's kind of like hearding cats.  Only harder.  I thought there might be tears when it was time to box up all the bears and say goodbye, but the kids did great.  The teacher had explained several times over the past two weeks what was going to happen, so that no one was sad. 
Afterwards it was lunch at Chic Fil A (my favorite) and then we could take our kids home.  Sarah and I did some shopping (you know I can't help myself, I have nothing to wear!) and then went home.  When we got home, we crashed and took a nap.  Which, by the way,  is something else you can't do at work :)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I have nothing to wear!

As a working Mom in the fashion industry, there was a certain expectation for personal style and clothing choices at work.  I worked with women who regularly came to work dressed head to toe in new, stylish, outfits just about every day.  They carried handbags by Prada, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton.  They wore designer shoes with 3" heels.  I even had an assistant that dressed almost completely in clothes from Anthropologie.  (If she is reading this, then Hi Brooke!) It was somewhat of a fashion show every day, with all of the women trying to outdo each other.  As a Mom of 3 kids, I was spending my money on diapers and daycare, not Jimmy Choos. But it was hard not to want these things, and occasionally I would get a great deal on something or get a great Christmas gift.  As a buyer, I was constantly shopping, and it was hard not to buy things for myself. 

However most days before work, I would stare into my closet, and announce to no one in particular, "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!"  My husband would always get a big kick out of this, and say, "Well what are all those clothes in your closet?" I would make another mental note to self that in our next house he and I will have separate closets.  I realized that I needed to stop saying this when my 4 year old daughter started saying this in front of her closet. 

Now, as a stay at home Mom, you would think that I wouldn't have these problems.  You would be wrong.  I have a closet full of "work clothes" and very few "casual clothes".  Now my day consists of what to wear to the school bus stop. Do I put on my workout clothes and go for a run after my dear daughter gets on the bus?  Do I throw on jeans and a sweatshirt?  Do I just stay in my PJs, throw on a robe and drive the .3 miles to the bus stop?  And then I realize, who cares? Well, I guess the answer is that I care.  Today I am going with my youngest daughter on a field trip to Build A Bear.  They are donating the bears to charity.  Again, outfit dilemma.  I have nothing to wear.  I'm just glad I don't have to wear heels. 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Running

I got started with running about 3 years ago when I decided to start exercising again after having my 3rd child. I was working full time, had a nanny for my kids, and was trying to lose weight with Weight Watchers. I had been avoiding exercise with every excuse in the book, but my main one was that I just didn't have the time.

Finally I joined a gym, and committed to just walking on the treadmill for 15 minutes a few times during the workweek. I would bolt out of work, drive the 25 miles back to my town, zip into the gym, change clothes, walk for 15 minutes, and then zip home in time for my nanny to leave around 6:15p. Back then my husband was working at a different job where he didn't get home most nights until 7pm. I did this for a few months and then figured out that if I could run for those 15 minutes, I would burn more calories. And wasn't that the whole point of this anyway? So I tried running on the treadmill. I couldn't even make it to one minute without stopping. I couldn't breathe. This was terrible. Was I really this out of shape? My goal was to be able to run through one song on my iPod.

I came across a couch to 5k program on the Internet and decided to try it. By alternating running and walking, I found that I could increase my stamina each week. I also found more time for running on the weekends and even early in the morning before work sometimes. I took my running shoes with me when I travelled for work. I've run in Central Park in NYC, on the beach in Miami, in Hong Kong on the Tsim Sha Tsui, and down Beverly Boulevard in Los Angeles.

I completed that first 5k, a couple more, an 8k on Thanksgiving Day, and a 10K. Last year I even completed a half marathon (13.1 miles) with Team in Training and raised over $2500 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Now before you get the wrong idea, let me tell you that I am a very slow runner. Running does not come easily for me. I still alternate with walking. I still need to lose 40 pounds to get to my goal weight. I don't look like a runner. At all. But I am a runner.

A few months ago I signed up to run another half marathon in the town where I live. I also joined a training group, since I knew that I would stick to it better if there were other people around. I am by far the slowest runner in the group. During our last training run, I pulled my calf muscle at mile 5 and had to limp back to my car. That was about 10 days ago. I am hoping that it will heal and that I can continue, but I am not sure.

Lots of people tell me that they could never be a runner. That they don't have the time, that it's too hard. I think that people can do whatever they make up their mind to do. Too often we listen to negative people that tell us that we can't do this or that, or that we will never accomplish our goals. What is it that YOU want to do? What is holding you back? Make a list, set some goals, and figure out a way to get there. It might not be easy, but you will be glad that you did.
Me running in Hong Kong 2010

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Wow, that was early

Today I did something that I NEVER did as a working Mom ----- I started Christmas shopping before Black Friday. As a working Mom, I would rush out on my lunch hour, do some quick shopping, and never feel like I could get everything done in time for Christmas. However now as a stay at home Mom, time is finally on my side. For the past 3 years or so, I have been following some great Mommy / Couponing / Deal blogs. My 3 favorites are Dealseekingmom.com, Moneysavingmom.com, and MoolasavingMom.com. This past weekend one of those 3 posted a great deal on some board games at Toys R Us. The only catch was you had to buy them online, but pick them up in the local store. Not really a big deal, but the nearest Toys R Us is 25 miles from my house. Ironically, I used to drive 25 miles each way to work. So today off I went. The place was hoppin! I was surprised at how many other stay at home mom types were wandering around the store. I went over to look at the bikes for my youngest daughter, and was irked to see that NONE of the 16" bikes had prices, bar codes, or prices listed on the shelf. Having worked in retail all my life this really annoyed me. Even after tracking down someone to help me, they couldn't figure out the prices, either. A second person was called over and by that time I was done. Needless to say a bike was not purchased today. But I did get some other good stuff on sale and I felt like I made a decent head start. Without being rushed! On November 8th, no less! Hmm, is it too early to put up the tree?? :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Hello!

Like most working Moms I know, I would sit at my desk at work and stare longingly at the picture on my desk of my 3 children. I would wonder what they were doing. I would wonder if they were having fun. If they were missing me. I would wonder if it was worth it to spend most of my waking hours at my desk instead of with my children. But there were bills to pay, and I would get back to work. And so I was a working Mom. I was, that is, until December 2010, the week before Christmas, when I was told that my position was eliminated, and I was out of a job. So for the past year, I have been a non-working, stay-at-home-Mom. Except for those 3 months I worked in Florida, but that is the subject of another post. I have always wondered what it would be like to be a stay-at-home-Mom, so I guess this is my chance to find out. I must say, and my husband will agree, that I am not very good at being a stay-at-home-Mom (SAHM, for short). So I am starting this blog to share my struggles, and perhaps connect with other accidental SAHM's like me. If you like the blog, then please follow me. If you don't, no worries, see ya around. THANKS!