Summer vacation problems

Sarah and friends at our neighborhood pool

It's been a casual topic of conversation among the mommies at the pool.  "Where are you going on vacation this year?" My new found mommy friends responses vary: a cruise to the Bahamas! visiting relatives in  Florida! the beach in  Georgia!  My response this year: nowhere.  After moving across the country 6 months ago from Omaha back to North Carolina, we have decided not to take a big vacation this summer for financial reasons.  This kills me, because I love to travel.  In past summers we have gone to Mexico, Paris, and Florida. Maybe next year.

Unfortunately for us, this week EVERYONE we know has left town on vacation.  My husband even mentioned that his 25 mile commute seems lighter than usual.  And of course this week my girls have no camps scheduled, and swim team is over.  To go from bad to worse it has been raining all week.  We didn't even leave the house yesterday.  Today we went to a $1 movie at 10 am.  Both girls wanted popcorn.  I told them we didn't need snacks to see a movie.  That did not go over well.  Although we all did enjoy seeing Madagascar 3. 

So it's been a slow week.  But it has made me realize how many friends the girls and I have made since moving back here.  When I was a working Mom I hardly knew anyone in our neighborhood.  Now it's nice to see our neighbors and know more than just their names.  Please y'all come back from vacation!  The girls and I will be at the pool, if it ever stops raining!

Summer swim team 1977 vs 2014

I have always loved swimming. My sister and I swam on swim teams in the summers in the 70's and 80's, and we also swam year round when we lived in Virginia.  My best stroke was backstroke.  My sister's was breaststroke.  The smell of chlorine always reminds me of fun times at swim meets and practices.  Our Moms let us eat Jell-O powder (with sugar) right out of the box for "energy" during swim meets.  In the summer our hair turned to straw and we had the best tans ever.  Our nylon swim team suits had white stripes down the sides and we would get tan through the white stripes. 


1977:
I am the blonde girl standing right in the middle

2014: Crazy pose with my 2 girls in the mix

I have always hoped that my kids would love swimming as much as I do.  When we lived in Omaha, my girls learned to swim at the YMCA through swim lessons and summer camp.  I convinced them that summer swim team would be fun.  And since I am now a stay at home mom here in NC, I have plenty of time to take them back and forth to the pool.  Swim team is a pretty big time commitment for the parents as well, and I had to agree to volunteer at several swim meets. 

We are now midway through our first season, and I have noticed several differences between summer swim team in the 1970's and summer swim teams today. 

1. 2014: EVERYONE gets to swim, even if they can barely make it across the pool. Some events have up to 30 swimmers! There are up to 7 heats so that everyone gets to swim freestyle.  1977: There is 1 heat.  The best 6 swimmers compete.  If you aren't the fastest in your age group, you don't swim. 

2. 2014: Goggles.  They are everywhere. Children won't swim without them. They fall off when they dive in at the meets and kids will stop mid pool to adjust them. 
1977: No goggles allowed in meets, only in practice.  Actually I don't even think we practiced with them most of the time because we lost them at the beginning of the season, and our Mom told us,  "Too bad."

3. 2014: For backstroke, parents hold kickboards against the side of the pool, so their kid won't hit their head on the side of the pool at the end of the race.  1977: We had to count the strokes from the flags to the end of the pool.  No one "caught" our heads; I banged the crap out of my head on more than one occasion swimming backstroke.  I quickly learned it took me 8-10 strokes from the flags to the end of the pool. 

4. 2014: Swim meets take up to 4 hours to complete, ending around 10pm, due to the number of swimmers (see #1).
1977: We were done by 8pm  and got to go out for pizza afterwards at The Mad Italian Pizza place.

5. 2014: Everyone (just about) gets a ribbon.  Places 1-6 get ribbons, heat winners get ribbons, and kids also get ribbons stating their personal best times. 
1977: places 1-3 get ribbons. That's it.

6. 2014: parents must write on their kids' arms with a Sharpie stating their event numbers.  Parents volunteer to be "child gatherers" and tell kids when it is time to line up for their events. 
1977: Kids had to watch for their event and line up.  If you missed your event, you got in big trouble. 

My kids aren't the fastest swimmers, but I think they are having fun in spite of all of the helicopter moms (including me) spraying them with sunscreen, taking their picture, and keeping up with 6 pairs of goggles.  I sure do love watching them swim!  Go Marlins!

Things I learned at Field Day

The only field day I remember from my childhood was in the 4th grade when we lived in Texas.  There were sack races, a 50 yard dash, and maybe a relay race.  Very basic, no Moms to help, just teachers. 

Last week my girls had field day at their elementary school.  When the call went out for volunteers, of course I volunteered to help.  There were probably 30 Moms there running the games. There was a morning shift and an afternoon shift.  I had to volunteer for both, since one of my girls had field day in the morning, and the other one had it in the afternoon.  The game that I was in charge of was the pizza delivery man race.  It figured that my game would have something to do with food!This consisted of empty pizza boxes being carried back and forth by the kids in a relay type race.  I ran this game probably 50 times the entire day, with every group from Kindergarten up to 5th grade.


Sarah and friends
 

Here are the top questions asked by the students:
1. Are there pizzas in there?
2. Are we going to get to eat pizza?
3. Can I go first?
4. Do we sit down when we are done?
5. Where do I put my water bottle?

Best class Tshirts



Olivia and friends

The need to "go first" was especially strong in 1st and 2nd graders.  The need to win was especially strong in 3rd and 4th graders (mainly boys). Some of the boys like to throw the boxes on the ground and jump on them.  The 5th graders were the best at following directions and sitting down nicely when their team was done.  The Kindergarteners were of course the cutest and just wandered around looking at stuff. 

My poor pizza boxes were trash by the end of the day.  I think the kids all had fun. My throat is still sore from yelling directions!

Weight Watchers and the stay at home Mom

Anyone who has been to Weight Watchers knows that once you get to your goal weight, and maintain it, then you become a Lifetime Member.  I like to joke and say that although I have been attending Weight Watchers for my entire lifetime, I have never gotten to my goal weight.  I first joined Weight Watchers in high school.  Then again in college (lost 36 pounds),  then again after my 3rd child was born (lost 52 pounds). All of those with varying stops and starts in between.  I have joined several times and lost 10 pounds, 5 pounds, or even lost nothing at all. 

About 5 weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers again.  As of yesterday, I was down 9.6 pounds.  Hooray!  I know that Weight Watchers is a very slow process.  When I lost those 52 pounds last time it took me 2 years.  During that time I was also a working Mom.  I packed my breakfast, lunch and snacks to eat at my desk.  However I could get easily derailed by a birthday cake for a co worker, or by an offer to go out for lunch.  Now that I am a stay at home Mom, I have different ways to get derailed, like ice cream in the freezer or skipping my workout to watch Kathie Lee and Hoda. 

Me and my Mom.  I'll use this as my "before" picture.  My Mom is also a WW person --- she made Lifetime!

If you are interested in finding a meeting near you, click here  You can also join online, but I've found going to a meeting with other people more helpful.  You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.  And you might pick up some good tips from someone else. I have done every diet known to man.  Weight Watchers is a plan you can live on.

I think that the key to success is persistence.  It is easy to quit.  It is much harder to crawl along and feel like you aren't going anywhere.  When I quit WW last time after 2 years and 52 pounds, I still had 35 pounds left to get to my goal.  Looking back, I was so close! But I was having major setbacks at work, the meeting leader that I really loved moved away, and after 2 years I just couldn't do it anymore. 

I would like to think that THIS time is different.  I would like to think that THIS time I will finally lose those last 40 pounds and get to my goal.  I will just take it one day at a time, one workout at a time, and one meal at a time.  I know I will have setbacks, but I will keep going.

School lunches are gross

Yesterday I went to the elementary school to have lunch with my daughters.  This is something that I never made time for / had time for as a working mom.  The girls had been asking if I could come for lunch for awhile, so I decided to go.  I had packed my younger daughter's lunch: crackers, laughing cow cheese, and popcorn.  My older daughter wanted to buy her lunch, which was chicken nuggets. 

I met up with my older daughter, Olivia, as she was going through the lunch line.  There was a huge basket of a dozen different kinds of chips.  There was also a freezer full of ice cream sandwiches and assorted ice cream bars.  Right at the cash register was a basket of cookies.  Impulse items for the 12 and under set, I guess.  Now what child is going to pass these up?  Heck, I could barely pass these up.

We sat down and I looked at her tray: 5 chicken nuggets, a cup of grapes, a bag of baked chips, and a chocolate milk.  It was a sad looking lunch.  Where was the vegetable?  Olivia said that there was broccoli and a baked potato on the line, but those looked "gross" so she didn't get them.  The chips didn't come with the lunch, and cost extra.  A school lunch is $2.25 here.  The chips were $1.00 extra, for a total lunch cost of $3.25.  In Omaha the school lunch costs $1.65, with no extras for sale.  I can look up her extra purchases online, and have told her this.  I see her buying an extra cookie or cupcake just about every day, even though I ask her to limit it to once a week.  I guess my alternative is to take the money out of her account and send her a packed lunch every day. 

Whatever happened to the school lunch tray that you were just handed?  When I was a kid the only choice you could make was whether you wanted white milk or chocolate milk.  There was no option to skip the vegetable.  There was no freezer full of ice cream. 

Today's school lunch is Salisbury steak.  Both daughters agree that sounds gross.  So I packed lunches for both of them.  After I took them to school, I came home and noticed that Olivia's lunchbox was sitting on the counter.  Sigh.  So like a good stay at home mom, I took her lunch to school on my way to the gym. 

Bike to school day / Help a Mom Out Day

Today was national Bike to School Day.  My girls' school participated by having all the kids gather near the neighborhood pool, and then some police officers led the pack of elementary school kids the half mile to school.  My older daughter, Olivia, loved it.  She loves to ride her bike and zips all over the neighborhood.  My younger daughter, Sarah, wanted no part of this event.  She has told me in no uncertain terms that she "will never ride a bike."  She has had bikes all of her life, but has always been afraid to ride without training wheels.  So Sarah and I walked and watched the other kids ride.  I mentioned to Sarah that maybe she could practice riding her bike, and that next year she could ride too.  She then reminded me that she was "never going to ride a bike".  Sigh. 

Olivia on her bike

I dropped the girls off at school and then set off to walk home.  I passed a few stragglers that had missed the main pack of kids.  One Mom in particular was pushing a baby in a stroller, while her school age kid was riding his bike down the sidewalk up ahead.  Her 3 year old son was walking way behind her.  He was wearing a bike helmet (no bike), and crying.  The Mom was yelling at him to catch up with her.  I could see that she was worried about the older son on the bike crossing the street by himself.  I knew exactly how this Mom felt, as I have been there myself! I went over to the 3 year old and said, "Is that your Mom up there?"  He nodded yes.  I said, "Take my hand and let's catch up to her, ok?"  We walked up to the Mom, who looked a little frazzled, but glad for my help.  We introduced ourselves and I peeked at the baby in the stroller.  It was another boy.  "Wow, 3 boys!  God Bless!"  I said.  She thanked me and I walked home. Sometimes it takes a village, you know?  Now I just have to remember to go back to the school at 3p to escort my girls home!

Animals are smelly

Yesterday I went on a field trip with my daughter, Sarah and the rest of the second grade from Grand Oak Elementary.  We went to Zootastic, which is a wild animal park in Troutman, NC.  I was happy to be able to go on a field trip with my daughter, but not excited about going to a zoo.  I really do not like zoos.  I have even been known to say that I hate the zoo.  My kids and my husband know that I hate the zoo.  When we moved to Omaha, everyone would tell me, oh, there's a great zoo, here, you have to take your kids to the Omaha Zoo.  Um, no, I don't. 

I'm not exactly sure why I hate the zoo.  I suppose I just was never that interested in animals.  Maybe it has something to do with being dragged to the zoo as a child.  My grandparents lived in San Diego, CA while I was growing up.  When we would go visit them, we would always go to the San Diego Zoo and the Wild Animal Park.  I remember endless walking around and looking at smelly animals in cages.

Don't feed the Zebra

please feed us!

And that's exactly what we did yesterday.  We walked around and looked at smelly animals in cages and in pens.  I saw tigers that looked really mad (and hungry?) as they paced back and forth, checking out the second graders.  There was one lone giraffe in a pen by himself.  Was he lonely? I saw a huge blind horse that had been used in cancer research.  Sad. The children we given cups of feed and were allowed to feed the goats, rams, smaller animals.  The goats knew what was coming and had been following us around.  However our guide warned, DO NOT FEED THE ZEBRA. I'm not sure why we couldn't feed the zebra.  Maybe he liked to eat childrens' fingers.

I guess zoos are educational and all, but I am not a fan.  I'd rather let the animals stay in the wild where they are supposed to live and read about them in a book.  It would certainly be less smelly.

Blind horse with his pal the rooster

 



Cell phone trauma and repair

How many times a day do you check your phone? Could you be without it for a week? a day? how about an hour? How did we ever get along before our smart phones?

Yesterday was not my day.  After meeting with a new accountant for two hours, I went to Office Depot to buy Quicken.  I picked that up, along with printer ink and some folders.  For some reason I was holding this all in my hands, along with my iPhone.  Why I felt the need to carry my phone in my hand instead of my handbag, I am not sure.  I had my phone on silent while meeting with the accountant, and the first thing I did after our meeting was finished was check my phone.  While carrying all this stuff through Office Depot, I inadvertently dropped my cell phone, face down.  No big deal, I thought.  I have done that a million times.  I reached down and picked it up.  The entire front glass was shattered with shards of glass sticking out. 

I then freaked out. I just knew that I was going to have to buy a new iPhone.  I went to the counter and showed my phone to the salesgirls there.  I didn't really expect them to do anything; I just needed to cry to somebody.  One of the girls said that she thought there was a phone repair place a few miles down the street.  At the cash register, I asked the guy ringing me up for an extra bag for my smashed phone.  He suggested I buy an Otterbox.  Gee thanks for the tip, I thought. 

My current non useful phone case.  If you know me, you know I change my case quite often!

I got in the car and wondered where there was an AT&T store.  I went to Google it on my phone and just about cut my finger on the glass.  I took the salesgirl's suggestion and drove off in search of the repair place.  I walked in to CPR - Cell Phone Repair - and showed them my phone.  They could fix it for $129, and it would take an hour. 

That was a long hour, let me tell you.  No email, Facebook, Pinterest, blogs, nothing.  I went to Panera Bread and just sat there, ate a sandwich, and looked around.  Lots of people there were on their computers, which I always find odd.  If you have work to do, wouldn't you rather be in a quiet place? I wondered about the weather, but couldn't check my weather app because I didn't have my phone! I thought about texting my friend Diahann to join me for lunch, but I didn't have my phone! Luckily I happened to wear a watch that day.  Sometimes I don't, and I just check the time on my phone. 

Eventually the hour was up and I got my phone back.  Hooray!  But no way I am buying an Otterbox.  Those things are just ugly!

Million Dollar Baby

I was looking for a movie to rent for our plane ride to Florida, and came across  Million Dollar Baby on iTunes.  Although this film won best picture in 2004, I never saw it, and I didn't know how it ended (or if I did, I forgot a long time ago).  With my recent interest in 9Round boxing classes, I thought it might be interesting to watch a girl boxer movie. 

I would love to have shoulder muscles like this!

 

It's a great movie with a gut wrenching ending.  Maggie, the main character played by Hillary Swank, comes from a trailer park in Missouri.  She saves every penny that she makes as a waitress on boxing gloves and on her training.  When she starts working with trainer Frankie, played by Clint Eastwood, she can't even work the speed bag (maybe there's hope for me yet). Frankie tells her several times, "I don't train girls."  She pesters him enough until he agrees to train her. With hard work and determination she starts winning fights.  Frankie and Maggie travel around Europe winning more and more.  She even works her way to the $1 million dollar title fight in Vegas. 

 

Unfortunately in the end Maggie is robbed of everything; however she doesn't see it that way. In her mind, she did everything that she had set out to do.  For her, almost winning it all was good enough.

 



APPLE JUICE!

Last week we went down to Fort Lauderdale, Florida for spring break with another family.  It was a great week of swimming in the pool, the ocean, and the ocean channel behind our rental house.  We had pretty good weather, and a great view behind the house

our view for the week!

Our kids got along great, even though they had never met before.  Luckily, the kids were close in age.  My girls are 7 and 9 years old, and the two other girls are 8 and 4.  The 4 year old, who I'll call C, was the kind of little girl that makes a mom like me want to have another little girl.  She's a tiny little thing, who talks a mile a minute. I discovered her sentences were very well thought out and complex, but sometimes it was hard to understand what she was saying.  When we first met her at the airport, we couldn't understand a word she said.  But by the end of the week, my girls could understand every word perfectly.

C would talk to me and try to tell me things, but most of the time I couldn't understand what she was saying.  I would ask her Mom for a translation. Sometimes even her Mom would just shrug her shoulders and admit that she had no idea what C was saying.  I found that when C really wanted you to know something, her words became quite clear.  The child loves apple juice and would call out for it several times a day. "APPLE JUICE!" C would exclaim, to anyone who was listening.   Another of her favorites was, "PASTA!"  But my favorite was one afternoon when all the kids had to get out of the pool, she was looking at her Mother and said, "I'M NOT HAPPY!" Everyone understood that C was upset, no questions asked.  This little girl at age 4 knows exactly what she wants, and has no problems telling you about it.  I hope she never loses her assertiveness! Sometimes don't we all just need to say what we want, very plainly, so that everyone understands?

Are your kids vaccinated?

Vaccinations.  Just the mention of the word sends people into debates.  Do they cause Autism? Do they actually prevent disease?  Are they harming our children? As the mother of 3 children, let me just say up front that my kids are vaccinated.  This week I saw this blog post on Facebook, in favor of vaccinations.  I also saw a response against vaccinations.  You can click on links to read both sides. 

Here in North Carolina, if your children aren't vaccinated, they can not attend public schools. There is no opt out.   My middle daughter, Olivia, attended Kindergarten and part of 1st grade in Huntersville, NC. Then we moved to Omaha, NE, where she attended 1st grade, 2nd grade, and part of 3rd grade.  With each school entry we presented her shot record.  Last month we moved from Omaha back to Huntersville, NC.  I got a call from the school nurse, who told me that Olivia's shot record was not up to date.  The nurse stated that she needed an additional dose of Hep B vaccine, or she would be kicked out of school.   What? She has attended 2 different schools and no one has mentioned this before now.

Hep B is given to infants.  Apparently when Olivia was an infant, the doctor's office administered her Hep B shot one month too early.  Because it was administered one month too early, apparently she doesn't have immunity.  My daughter has had 27 immunizations in her lifetime. Now I have to subject her to another one?  This just seems crazy and unfair.  I asked the nurse if we could just opt out of this vaccine.  The answer was no, you can't. If she doesn't get this extra Hep B shot, she will not be able to attend school. I know my daughter, and she will freak out when she has to get this shot.  At five feet tall and 100 pounds, I'm sure that it will take several grown ups to hold her still. 

Meanwhile, people in California can just opt out of every vaccine for their child?  Short of moving west of homeschooling my child, I have no choice, and that sucks.

School picture day

As a working mom, I admit that sometimes I would forget about school picture day.  That's why in my son's third grade picture, he is wearing a Mario Brothers t-shirt.  My son is now 16 and could care less about that picture, but I love it, because that is really what he looked like every day. 

Today I had to get my girls, ages 7 and 9, ready for their school pictures.   Olivia demanded at 7pm last night that we go shopping because she had nothing to wear.  Obviously that was not going to happen.  She tried on about 10 outfits before I convinced her on the one pictured below. 

My younger daughter, Sarah, reminded me that I needed a pick a "background".  What?  Yes apparently these pictures came with fake backdrops of a waterfall or a forest.  I hate fake backgrounds.  I mean, who are they fooling?  Did they really take my 2nd and 3rd graders out to the forest to take their picture in front of a waterfall? At least for these pictures I didn't have to prepay.  Sometimes for school pictures, they make you send in money BEFORE the pictures are even taken.  That always irks me.  What if the pictures are bad?  My children are always beautiful, of course, but I hate to shell out $30 for bad pictures. 

 

Here's what they looked like when they left this morning.  This was after Olivia told me how much she hated her hair. Sigh.  Hopefully they pictures will turn out great!

Things I learned in Nebraska

Some people live their whole lives in the same town.  They are lucky enough to grow up around cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.  Maybe their family owns the town drugstore or local car dealership, or maybe everyone in their family works for the same local factory.  I did not grow up this way.  I lived in 4 different states while growing up, and have lived in 4 different states since graduating from college in 1991.  When recruiters would ask me if I was able to relocate, I said yes.  I guess that's one of the reasons why we moved to Nebraska a little over two years ago.  Although we had never been there, I had a great job opportunity, so we packed up the girls and went.   

The Midwest is very different from the South.  For starters there is no sweet tea! They ask you if you want your milk in a "sack", and all soda is called "pop".  Here's some other things that I learned in my 2 years in this strange land:

1. EVERYONE (men, women, children) cheers for and watches the Huskers (that's the University of Nebraska) play any and every sport, but especially football.  When the football game is on, the state shuts down to watch.  Additionally, everyone has a red sweatshirt or t-shirt with a big N on it for Nebraska.  I think it's a law when you enter the state.  It is also OK to wear red Nebraska apparel to church.  On Christmas Eve.  I'm not kidding.

2. Omaha has the a LOT of bars. Trulia, a real estate trend-watcher, created maps that divide the U.S. into restaurant cities and bar cities, and Omaha pops up as the city with the third-highest bar density: 8.3 bars per 10,000 households.  It's bizarre. Click here to read the story There are bars in every strip center, all equipped with big screens to watch Nebraska games.    There are also no "blue" laws when it comes to selling alcohol, so it was common to see liquor displays in CVS, Target, and the local grocery store, HyVee.  HyVee once even had a display in the produce department showing how to make punch out of watermelons and everclear.  You just don't see that in the Bible belt south!  Also in HyVee they play radio coverage of the Husker games over the loudspeakers.  Just in case you might miss something on your beer run.

3. It's cold.  Well duh it's Nebraska.  But I'm talking bone chilling -20 degrees with the wind chill cold.  It wasn't uncommon to see snow on a daily basis.   Last year it snowed on May 1st.  Terrible.

4. Women eat in Nebraska.  A lot.  And they eat real foods.  No picking at salad here.  At my office we regularly had "food day" when everyone would bring a dish and we would basically eat all day.  Not great for my weight loss efforts for sure!  I had several skinny co workers (Brooke!) who could eat ANYTHING and stay skinny.  Must be some Midwest lucky gene mutation.

I don't regret the 2 years that we spent in Omaha, but I am very glad to be back in the south. Thanks for reading, y'all!

Are you Happy?

Back not too long ago, when I was a working Mom, my happy, fun workplace changed very suddenly.   My boss and a few coworkers got fired, the Chief Merchant left the company, and some new management was put in place.  Sometimes change is good.  This wasn’t one of those times.  Suddenly it wasn’t the same workplace that I’d signed up for a little over a year earlier.  Some of us working moms started having conversations about staying at home.  The more unhappy we were at work, the greener the grass looked on the other side.  And most of us were very unhappy. 

How important is it to you to be happy every day?  Is that really even possible?  We all can point to happy moments in our lives: our wedding day, birth of our children, vacations, etc.  But what about finding the “happy” in the ordinary Tuesday?  Are you only happy on Fridays? Are you (sometimes) happy with your job?  Are you (sometimes) happy staying at home? Is it possible to find just a moment of happiness every day? When your boss is a jerk, or the garage door breaks, or you get a letter from the IRS, does that ruin your day, your week, or your month?  I started participating in a project on Instagram called #100 days of happiness.  (Note to my Mom: Instagram is like Facebook, only it’s just pictures)  My friend Alicia was trying this, and she inspired me to try it too. In this project, I attempted to post a picture of something that made me happy every day.  I think I got to day 10 and then gave up.  Isn't that ridiculous? You can see what I posted by following me on Instagram at larainedurham.  Alicia is still going strong, and you can follow her at ac27560.  Maybe I will start it back up again.

I think that it’s important to look for the happy in the everyday things, although many days, this can be a challenge.  I know that whenever I listen to the song, “Happy” by Pharrell Williams, I instantly become happy.  Here’s the chorus:

 Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do

What makes you happy?  I hope that today you can find one thing that makes you HAPPY.

The Flex arm hang

There is a new TV show on ABC called the Goldbergs.  It is set in the 80's around a family with 3 kids.  I love this show so much, and my kids love it too.  It seems like every week I can totally relate to the show and it reminds me of being a kid growing up in the 80's. 

 

We had a chin up bar like this in our house, too.

This week's episode is about the Presidential Physical Fitness Test.  I had to do this in PE class in 6th grade at the Rogersville City School cira 1982.  We did a shuttle run, a sprint, sit ups, and the dreaded flex arm hang.  The boys had to do chin ups.  The girls weren't required to do chin ups, but rather just hold our chins above the chin up bar for about 25 seconds or so.  I could pass every part of the test, except this one.  I practiced and practiced for weeks. When it was time for the test, I remember Coach Pierce telling me that it was my turn. I stepped up to the chin up bar as he stood there waiting with a stopwatch. I hopped up and pulled my chin above the bar, counting off the seconds in my head.  Finally after what seemed like an eternity, I let go and looked at him.  Coach Pierce looked at me and said blankly, "You missed it by 1 second."  Really? ONE SECOND?  I was so upset because all my friends had passed the test except me.  I was crushed. 

 
When I told my husband this story, he said, "So what if you didn't pass?  Who cares?"  He did not share my drive of excelling in school, apparently.  I guess it didn't matter in the scope of my life if I passed this test or not.  But I really practiced and tried my best to pass.   In this instance, my best wasn't good enough.  I did lots of things well in school, but this wasn't one of them.  I look at my kids now, and my older daughter, who is in 3rd grade,  shares my drive to excel in school.  She wants to be the smartest and to get the best grades.  Changing schools in February this year was hard for her, because some things (like how to find the perimeter of a shape) she just hasn't learned yet.  Everyone else in her class already knows how to do this, she tearfully told us a few nights ago. 

I want my kids to do well at school, but I know there will be times when they won't.  I suppose sometimes struggle and failure builds character.  After helping our 3rd grader with her math homework the other night, my husband commented that he thought that pretty soon he wouldn't be able to help her with her math anymore.  Math really isn't his thing, and these word problems are pretty intense.  I just laughed and told him not to worry; there is nothing I can't figure out!  After all, that's what Google is for, right?

How's your work life balance?

Work life balance is a popular term in most big companies these days.  At my last employer, we often heard upper management say that they wanted us to have a good work life balance. But as buyers, most of us we were still writing orders on the weekends, and checking emails around the clock. Not to mention traveling at night or on the weekends. That's just what we had to do in order to get the job done.  As working moms and stay at home moms, we get lots of stuff done because we have too (see last post titled "Moms.  We just DO").  We fit that whole Dilbert list up there into our daily lives.  We are awesome at time management and running the show both at work and at home.  We thrive when we are needed and when we are busy.  But are we biting off more than we can chew?  Are we so consumed with having to "Lean In" and do it all, that we are actually burning ourselves out?

What is most important to you?  Is that what you are doing best? If not, maybe it's time to rethink your priorities.  For most of us moms, our first priority is (usually) our family.  But are we really putting them first? Or are our jobs, our commute, and our to do list all getting in the way? What are you ignoring or putting on the back burner because your time is stretched so thin?  Maybe it's your kids, your spouse, your health, or your lack of sleep?

Yes I know that you are important.  People are counting on you. You have quite a lot to do.  And by all means you should do the things that only YOU can do.  Do those important things that need to be done NOW and that will get the biggest results. But you don't have to do everything.  I know it's really hard, but on a few of those non-essential things try to outsource, delegate or say no to some stuff.  I know that you CAN do it all, but hey, you don't HAVE to.

Laundry: The Neverending Story




My new motivational sign for the laundry room. LOL

The problem with the laundry is that it is never completely done.  Since it is never completely done, there is no sense of accomplishment; there is no check off on my to do list.  When I was a working mom, I did a load of laundry here and there.  Some loads at night, most loads on the weekends in between the kids' activities.  I used to work with a mom of three kids that would put a load in before work, and put it in the dryer when she got home.  She would do this every day.  EVERY DAY. 

When we lived in Omaha, our house had the washer and dryer downstairs, and all the bedrooms were upstairs.  There was a laundry shoot from the master bedroom closet into the laundry room, which was kinda fun.  It was easy to send the dirty laundry flying down the chute. I could even convince my kids to put their own laundry down the chute, most of the time.   As a result, there would always be tons of dirty laundry piled up down there.  Sometimes it would get washed and dried and then unloaded onto the dining room table for folding.  It would then stay there indefinitely. I am talking weeks at a time.  Many days my girls would go to the dining room table to get dressed.  Don't judge.  They would always look for socks there on the dining room table.  On the rare occasion where I actually took everything upstairs, they would get upset when they came downstairs to look for socks in the dining room, only to realize that they had to go back upstairs to their actual dressers for socks. 

At our house in NC, the washer and the dryer are upstairs, as are all the bedrooms (insert Hallelujah Chorus here).  SO much easier!  And yet it is still never completely done.  I suppose mainly because I would rather do ANYTHING else than fold laundry.  Today I did 6 loads --- washed, dried, folded and 80% put away.  My mother is the ultimate laundry professional.  She even irons; remarkably she loves to iron.  I am not kidding.  I am sure that I will never reach her level of laundry professional.  I certainly didn't inherit her good housework genes, that's for sure. 

My husband started packing for a business trip last night and joked that he was going to have a matching sock party.  I did not find that at all funny.  However it's true that I hate to match socks.  I have convinced the girls that it's ok to wear unmatched socks.  It's a fashion trend! Hubs also said that he was going to buy 365 pairs of socks so that he could just throw them away every day.  Hmmm, now that sounds like a good business idea to me!

Moms. We just DO.

Working moms do it all: work all day, housework at home, homework with the kids, grocery shop on weekends, and on and on.  After the birth of my 3rd child, I had a female boss of mine say to me, "I don't know how you do it -- 3 kids!"  This lady had no kids of her own.  Most of the time working moms don't know how they do it, either.  They just get up everyday and do what they have to do.  It's not like most of us have a choice.

Kate Winslet with her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Last week I saw Kate Winslet on the Today Show talking about shooting the movie Divergent.   She told the Today Show that when they called her up to do re-shoots for Divergent she thought, “How am I going to do this?  I would feed and shoot and nurse and the milk would go back to the hotel and my equipment would come back, and we’d do the stunt and I’d act,” she said. And then Kate Winslet just totally summed it up. She said, “There’s something really empowering about going, ‘Hell, I can do this! I can do all this!’ That’s the wonderful thing about mothers, you can because you must, and you just DO.” 

I have seen some moms (me included) that thrive on the stress.  The more there is to do, the faster we work to get it done.  Big project at work? Nailed it.  Birthday party for 2 year old? Bouncy house and cotton candy machine, check. Coach a soccer team? Why not?  Bake cupcakes for school party? Who needs to sleep?  Run a half marathon and raise money for charity? Sure! I look back at all the things I've juggled over the past 10 years and it makes my head spin.  I look at other moms I know and I am amazed.  I know one who has 2 kids, teaches school and runs triathlons.  I know another who has 4 kids, works full time, and decided to become a foster parent.  Another mom of 3 homeschools, blogs, and just wrote her first book.  Whether we are working moms or stay at home moms, we get stuff done, because all of us moms just DO.

My food obsession and the lunchbox

I have always been obsessed with food.  What's for lunch? When's dinner? What are we having? Is it time to eat yet? How many calories have I eaten today?  When I was a working mom I would usually pack my own somewhat healthy lunch of salad or soup or yogurt or whatever.  For my girls the lunch debate was much harder, as they wanted chips, juice boxes, and junk.  Being pressed for time in the mornings I would throw together a lunch of 100 calorie packs, peanut butter crackers, and granola bars.  Or we would consult the school lunch menu and possibly go with a bought lunch of pizza, hamburgers or nachos (yes this is actually passed off as a school lunch).

When we got back to NC, I was shocked to learn that here my kids could purchase "extras" with their school lunch.  Cookies, cake, juice,  and ice cream are all available every day for children in Kindergarten through 5th grade.  They don't even need cash, as they just punch in their pin number.    I know when I was a kid, I would have gotten ice cream every day if it was available!  When I was a kid, we just got a tray, and that was your lunch, no choices, no questions asked.

So now that I have more time, I have been on an overall quest to eat healthier and make better meals for my kids.  I follow a great blog called 100 days of real food -- http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/
This lady posts pictures of her kids' school lunches and it has inspired me.  I bought these great Ziplock divided containers and have been trying to sneak in more fruits and veggies into the lunchbox.  Here's what they took today:

 

Sarah's lunch - she loves peppers and cucumbers

Olivia's lunch. Tomatoes are one of the only vegetables that she will eat.  I know the lunch meat is not great, but baby steps, right?

 

I made these banana whole wheat muffins this morning from a receipe on 100 days of real food - really! I know that these lunches have a long way to go, but at least I got them to eat some vegetables instead of another processed food. The crackers are wheat thins.  Also not great, but at least there's whole grain in there.   I also packed water bottles, and an ice pack.  Hurray for the #tinywin !

Do you hate what you do?

When I was a working mom, I really had to make time for exercise or else I didn't do it at all.  Mostly it was a drag and I'd find myself on the treadmill counting the minutes or in a class trying to avoid the instructor's gaze.  Over the years I have done Jazzercise, Yoga, running, weight lifting classes, and random machines at the gym.  Now that I am a stay at home mom, I have more time to try and get in shape.  I needed something different, mostly just to motivate me to do it.

My friend Diahann asked me if I would be interested in a new workout place she'd found, called 9Round.  I tried it, and liked it, so I signed up for a 6 month membership.  You go through 9 "rounds" or stations with different exercises at each station.  The trainer comes around and tells you what to do at each station. Each round only lasts for 3 minutes.  There's a bell that tells you when to move on to the next round.  In between you do 30 seconds of cardio, which the trainer calls out and tells you what do to.  The whole session takes only 30 minutes and works just about every part of your body. You get to wear boxing gloves for some of the rounds, which is different and fun.  There are no set class times, you just come in whenever you can and go through the rounds.  Here's a link to their website: http://www.9round.com/

I like it because it is over in 30 minutes, and I am working out my arms and abs more (something I didn't get with running).  It's also kind of fun to punch a bag with pink boxing gloves.  There are some motivational posters up in the 9Round gym with Muhammad Ali quotes. I think we all know the "float like a butterfly" one, but this one I found particularly interesting:

 

He hated every minute of training.  Hated every minute? Seriously? Why would you go through all that if you hated it? I guess being a champion was the most important thing to him, no matter what he had to do.  He must've trained for countless hours, weeks, years even in order to get to his goal of being a champion.  He hated it all that time? When I was running I mostly hated it, but loved it when I got to the end of my run. I loved what I was able to accomplish for myself personally with longer and longer runs.   I guess everyone says the trick is to love what you do, find a workout that you love, or a sport that you enjoy playing.  How sad would it be to go through life, hating every minute of what you do?  I like 9Round because for me it's something different.  Even if I hate parts of it, like mountain climbers or planks, it only lasts for 3 minutes, tops!



Where exactly is Nebraska?

Could you name all 50 states on a blank map? Can your kids? I don't think I could.  But I know that I would get more of them right today than I would've have before we moved to Nebraska.  I love this map of how New Yorkers view the rest of the country:

 

 

Nebraska is "somewhere in the middle" for sure.  One of my New York friends (Courtney) was convinced that I was actually living in Wisconsin, not Nebraska, for the entire 2 years I lived there.  My husband kept thinking that we were moving to Kansas, not Nebraska, until we actually got there.  Here's a real map of the USA for our lesson today:

 

 

This is how I described to people where Nebraska is:  Locate Texas (you should be able to do this btw), then go straight up - that's Oklahoma (where the wind comes sweeping down the plain), above that is Kansas (home of Dorothy and Toto), and above that is Nebraska (home of Warren Buffett and lots of cornfields).  It's pretty much right in the middle of the country.  Some states I just can't remember where they are, like Indiana (sorry Tonya). 

 

One of my coworkers in Nebraska asked me if my family used to go to the beach a lot, since we lived in North Carolina.  I told him no, we lived almost 4 hours from the beach, and that it was really too far to drive very often.  He was from Omaha, where the closest beach is over 20 hours away.  I guess the definition of "close" is relative.

 

While we lived in Nebraska, we visited Des Moines, Iowa,  and Kansas City, Missouri.  When we drove home to North Carolina, we passed through Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, and Tennessee.  My husband keeps telling me that we should get a big RV and drive around for vacations.  See the Grand Canyon! National Parks! Camping! This does not sound like a vacation to me, as I hate driving and really enjoy room service.  Our 3 day drive from Nebraska to North Carolina was enough driving to last me for a loooong time. The next long drive we take better have Disneyworld on the other end!

I'm baaaaaack!

After 2 years in Omaha, Nebraska, we decided to call it quits.  We made this decision for several reasons, including below zero temperatures, being far away from our families, and generally finding ourselves in the Midwest middle of nowhere.  My husband got a great job offer back in Charlotte, so we decided to move back across the country.  Never have I been so glad to hear southern accents and drink sweet tea.  I am back to being an accidental stay at home Mom.  Although this time I suppose it was accidentally on purpose. 

We were able to move back into our same house in NC.  We had rented it out for the past 2 years and we were glad to find it in good shape upon our return.  I think that we were very lucky in that regard and I am very thankful.  We got rid of a lot of furniture when we moved to Omaha, so now the house has some empty spots.  I also am noticing how some of my 10-15  year old furniture is not holding up so good anymore.  Well I guess it will give me something to shop for.